Things you never learned in your doctoral program ...

(and you refuse to learn now, on the job):

1. committee work will suck your life out through your eyeballs
2. you can't "liberate" anyone--not your students, not yourself, not the bag of SunChips stuck in the machine
3. people will always complain about bad writing (student OR high theory) because that's easier to do than to actually read something
4. you'll never get enough sleep
5. "hammerheads" and "redeyes" are the best coffee drinks, but not after 4 p.m., because you need to ...
6. get more sleep
   

High holy days

Yes, 'tis the season--this week marks the anniversary of my coming-out (23 years ago). I'm celebrating with wall-to-wall meetings at work: prep for the University Curriculum Committee (UCC); the UCC itself; Grad Council; thesis students; department Graduate Committee; a dozen other I'm forgetting; etc. Maybe I'll persuade the LAW that this momentous season deserves an extra-friendly date.

Last night, we had dinner with Charybdis and Mr. Charybdis. Now I'm trying to figure out whether the charbroiled shrimp or something else caused my, hmmm, active dreams: (1) all of my caps and fillings were falling out and my back molars were dissolving; and, later, in a separate bit of entertainment (2) I was pulling long gobs of stuff from my throat, after discovering I was possessed by a demon--and that this was the only way to exorcise him.

So this morning I'm just bemused by the broken and evil things my subconscious thinks might emerge from my mouth. But really, maybe it was the shrimp.

By the way, favorite new music discovery: Kathleen Edwards, whose performance I caught on Austin City Limits the other night as I was flipping through channels looking for Mission: Impossible reruns.

The best (but LATE) sight of the morning

So don't you think that, with all the advanced tech, we could at least have COFFEE during the 12-hr fast before routine bloodwork (okay, and the pee-in-a-cup test)? I mean, can't the machines account for the caffeine that I need just to get the blood moving?

Finally!

If only this were required reading.

What I'm up to these days, part II ...

... oh yeah, and yesterday, the main sewer line backed up into my tub.

The only cool part of this event (really, it was cool) is that the plumbers had this camera they sent down into the pipes so they could see the roots. Really, it was like watching a colonoscopy on House. Sort of.

What I'm up to these days...

(an illustration of my latest emails)

Dear Mayor Riddell:

I'm attaching the following complaint (which I've sent to the Better Business Bureau, the Yucaipa Chamber of Commerce, and the police department) to provide background information to this issue. What I am writing you for, specifically, is to complain about a frivolous 9-1-1 call.

Basically, what happened is that in the course of a dispute over a transaction at a local business (a pet grooming place), the groomer called 9-1-1 in order to intimidate me. This incident happened sometime between 1 and 2 p.m. at Pampered Pet Boutique, located at 33527 Yucaipa Boulevard #C4, Yucaipa, CA 92399. If anyone listens to the tape, you'll hear her saying "oh, it's not an emergency," and then staying on the emergency line for another minute before saying "never mind, they're leaving."

When I was demanding a partial refund (or even an explanation) of a fee--a demand that was *not* threatening, or assaultive, or even particularly combative--the staff at the business below talked louder and louder, moved closer to me in an effort to physically intimidate me, wouldn't listen to me, and THEN said that my demand was "harassment" and dialed 9-1-1. The call was made by Stephanie (I think that's her name), the groomer at that business, and it lasted for a couple of minutes. I would like someone to inform Stephanie that she shouldn't tie up police resources in order to threaten her customers.

While the actual business dispute shouldn't concern you (I'm cancelling the charge and letting my credit card company deal with Pampered Pet Boutique), I'm very concerned, as a San Bernardino County resident, that *anybody* in a local business makes a frivolous call to 9-1-1 and ties up that resource (even for a *minute*) in order to threaten a dissatisfied customer. If such a false call to 9-1-1 is against the law, as I believe it is, then I'm sure that I (and a witness) would be willing to formally complain.